Calling bullsh*t on everybody who enjoys winter time. It’s cold and there’s snow everywhere. What’s it to like about that? Bla bla bla to skiing, snowboarding, ice-skating, and hot chocolate… no, sorry, hot chocolate can stay. The only way I will enjoy winter is through my window, when I’m inside, in a huge PJS with coffee and no reasons to go out. Anyways, the only interesting thing about this loser season is that the fashion is not bad. I actually enjoy winter coat shopping. And when I say coat, I don’t mean technical attire… I mean you have to suffer to look good (so yeah I freeze all winter). Here are the different styles I feel that are a must for the next long, freezing, endless and painful few months.
LONG & OVERSIZE
Maxi coats are life. They feel like a shield. Nobody can approach you and if you get splashed by a car, no biggies you are covered! They are or colorful or plaited/checkered. The materials are very noble (compared to you us, lol!), thick fabrics like or tweed will be prioritized. The details are minimal, the focus is on the size of the jacket, which is HUGE. Keep it open so it floats in the wind, but if your legs turn blue, button it up!!!
XXL PUFFERA
All my Michelin man fans, please raise your hand! Love those coats who make people go: is she fat or is that coat humongous? Ahhhhh teasing is life. Oversizing is an art and you need to learn it. Never be ashamed to wear an oversize coat, it’s totally normal to lose your shape in it. You can always wear it open to show off, and freeze to death, but like I said: you have to suffer for fashion.
SHEEP
This look is iconic. Plus, it’s a whole lot less expensive than fur. For this coat, I would personally remain in the classic shades, but hey, you do you! Not only is it paired with suede and jeans, it comes on accessories too! It’s so seventies, and you can rock it with jeans and a plaid white T. This is the kind of outfit that’ll make you tell people who suggests you take off your coats since you’re sweating: no sorry, this coat is part of my outfit. I said it before and I’ll say it again: FASHION IS PAINFUL.
FAUX FUR/TOUCH OF FAUX FUR
Don’t you dare go kill an animal to keep yourself warm this winter! (Unless you thrifted it, I’ll accept). They will be used all over, on the collar or on the cuffs. It will give texture to your whole ensemble. I do advice to dare with the color. Don’t be a grandma with your brown fur, be a spice girl with your blue fur!
VINYL
It has a glowy water look AND it’s water, tears and wrinkles proofed, hallelujah I’m in heaven! The vinyl jacket has made its way back from the 80’s closet! This coat has a life of its own. It’s kind of wearing you, instead of you wearing it. You will be seen from miles away. You can get your rock goddess out and pair it with leather pants and a t-shirt, or you can just grunge up your classic wardrobe with it. Any ways you decide to wear it, you will be judgement proofed!